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The appointment is tomorrow at 6:35 central

From tomorrow I will be among the blue sky and blue sea:) With the annina the evening, the critical, theoretical, jack, and Gian Vito:)

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hours that I

that I However the diary I've got the same even if I do not go to high school will seek the views of half the world as my usual. I'm blond because I buy henna to color or stuff from or fear. I, in contrast to what one might believe, aesthetics are never gone, and I do not know Cheffe next week when we go. That I am still a bit 'well, that's exactly what I do I'm not sure. I want to go to Paris and stay there indefinitely. I respect that when the old photos the only thing I can say is "my mom because I was fat." I love to photograph people's faces even if people do not like being photographed. I understand that I'll never be able to read all the books in the world. I wish that I sometimes even the doctors and the mathematicians had the problem of the blank page. Which theoretically I should write a story for a competition and instead I've written three, but they are uglier than the other one. I do that over time I realized that there are several ways to love a person. I realized that I have true friendships remain and there will always be, even if we accept that everyone has his life to be pursued. I would like to be friends with many people who know little, but I understand that it is necessary that the other wants. I have a room that made of books, stuffed animals and dust. I am ashamed to death that when someone reads something I've written out loud. I, who promises to keep, because I'm not a sailor. I always say that I have no clothes, when I have eighteen hundred and my only problem is I do not remember their existence. I that I still have trouble making friends with people. I sleep and I always always hungry. I now know that I can spend more time with my grandfather and my grandmother. I grow up I want to see Philip and Frederick not to forget as we were children. I see that I always too fat, even if they are within a 42. I am afraid that the long-term relationships, relationships, of being with someone. I know but the things that I do not say. I do not I feel like talking. I would like to come back every now tiny. I only now understand what I was stupid not to go more often to the house in Paris when it was possible, as well as in Buenos Aires, London, New York. That I sleep with stuffed animals because I'm afraid to sleep alone, or because I want someone real close. I and my biggest dream I have in the drawer around the world.

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-I and non-

I, who have more anxiety to take that diary for the new year in high school, because I do not go more in high school. That I can no longer take the train, change and get two meters Corvetto, in a small apartment on the sixth floor to dream, write, watch the world passing from there. That I am not happy about many things, many of my past choices that you can not change it anymore. I wish I never started, because my problem is just that: the beginning. I, who have more desire to stay at home but go to Paris and stay there, because you do not change planes in Paris and that's it, but changing lives. I do not watch more TV do not know how long, why do not I find anything interesting. I do not know what it means to love and not sex, maybe because I never did. I do not love nobody, not even if I feel tricked. I do not say that just to say, but for me remains the most beautiful of all and I can not do anything. And that's it.

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The woman who stared at goats? That do not pass?

I have the Oedipus complex? No. It is useless to bring out the instincts that do not exist. You can also look through different eyes, eyes that they want something else. And you can even fuck the conventions, morals, what you normally do not do it. What then, will be decided by the normal individual to individual. Without an identity card who tells you that I am nineteen years? None. So what?

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simply get what you give

simply get what you give , originally uploaded by ellisss ... .

There is a law. It 's the easiest of all, but no one has written in the constitutions or other. And 'that governs all our relationships. Simply, you get what you give. Nothing more. Nothing less.
And happiness lies in the people. And never the subject of maturity, now that I think, have been more appropriate. Yes, because my topic was right on the pursuit of happiness. Happiness that we seem to be able to reach objects. But when we buy them, we hear it now, we're not happy, we are only satisfied with your purchase. And soon satisfaction disappears as soon as we see something else. Happiness lies in the people, in times past with them, that keeps you stick together and not let go. Remember the happiness. And to love and be loved, we need an effort from both sides. And, simply, as I said giò in Geneva, between a laugh and the other by new graduates, those eyes are writing. Yes, I have a project. ☺

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who gave you all the sweetness you loved

Since my Dad has gone home, most of its tasks are now my . Despite on holiday I wake up early to take my mom to work. When I get home I do not want to go back to bed. In Latvian. As a baby I do not know what you want to sleep in this bed looking great with her mother. Now I'm just uncomfortable. An uncomfortable bed in which I can hardly sleep. With the sheets that I will hang between the legs and do not cover anything. Now that I'm grown and I have what I wanted as a child, I do not do anything. Indeed, I see almost time for my mom to go away for a few days to work so I can get back into my bed, with its four and five plush pillows that keep me company. But my mother did not say or tell a joke, so do not take offense.

Check mail, empty the trash, go to the grandmother to put in place when there is not, go back to take my mother, clean the roller, go to the Monthly meetings. All things that I did not. The trouble was he and who was going to take his post. Now we understand why. Now I realize how many things there are to do in a house and how many he never even made him lying. Make sure you have no ants in the house, check if the light is red and blue digital before going to bed, remember to keep the water running the dishwasher, run home when it rains to collect things spread out and pull up tents.

I do not remember who asked me if I am missing. I only said that I am missing a dad. But not the father. Yet even if I say no one will make me go back in time and have a dad who took me on rides, which he remembered to pick me up in elementary school during lunch, which made me a present for my birthday, which he organized the Holidays , that I always say "come on it's late."

rest with my mother who cares if I go out again this week and come back at nine to eleven and a half even though I was nineteen. My mom who tries to convince me to come back to her in the evening under the pretext of an imminent storm. My mom makes me wake up at seven. I studied for the simulations of the various tests with his tears and the faces of my dickhead Dad. I studied in high school with her screams and ignorance of the lawyer. I did everything without saying anything. And if sometimes I feel like a child again with some stupid, that it is not always so responsible, frankly, I think I can do without having to be constantly criticized. No one sees me cry a little '.

even a kiss

that was ever wasted

even a gesture like this ... not even a kiss

it was a nice gesture even

so much for

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Things [are apparently gained]

I went to high school with the belief that I would have made to get votes and come out with very high percent. With the highest votes as had always been for all other tests that I had sustained. Then my idea was changed little by little knowledge of the environment and the teachers. I went in the end, convincing myself that those votes were not true. They were just simple numerini rappressentavano not really the person. Useful numbers to a school that was an end in itself and not to life. And so 'As I left my project Appietto, with attached ire of my mother, my uncle and some of my prof. Now that I finally finished my high school course, as I have a different vision. Perhaps they are matured. Perhaps it is simply true that have not always been just a seven becoming a miserable enough in certain areas. Perhaps in the end, it is not true that the vote of maturity does not represent you, does not indicate what you are. My shows me. What I did and I did not. The vote of my friends is themselves and what they have been for five years. Now that I left a few hours though, this vortex "maturandesco" I can see it with different eyes. It is not so 'tragic as it seemed: it is a mere repetition of what you did during the year. If you know, if you do not know your business. I am not seeking justification or personal resentments toward my prof or against the commission outside. It could have been better, could do more ', could be different. I can still cry now. Now I have three months of vacation to think about my mom, to find a job, to take away the pallor of the skin, to think if what awaits me in October is actually read or not. If you are willing to accept the challenge with all its attached or not. If you are not willing to listen to the masses and do my own thing. Whatever you choose 'I want something that will finally be different. This mediocrity 'and fake "Che Guevara". Music changes and air. I moved to Milan for a few days at my uncle's house. I also want more conscious districts' treasures of the city that seems so 'far from the Brianza and that instead there is just' one step away. Today as I waited for my uncle I observed the plant. Tomorrow I see what awaits me. I took books that I loved in the past five years and notes from my room. They are already 'all in the car. Tomorrow, the detour to LIBRACCIO of Via Corsica is particularly close. But, apparently, are gained. Gia ', the day so far, what I wanted and did not want to arrive, arrived in the end and even if they have already gone. Now I have a little 'fear of the future. I know what I'll miss: The beautiful part of the school: the companions, the cards, without the bullshit together. This'. Now me and the world face to face. Let's see how I can beat me and hurt me.